The One About The Truth
The moment your toddler begins to stutter can be a scary one. Filled with questions and uncertainty, parents are often at a loss for answers. Here are the top 5 Things I Wish All Parents Knew Right Away; advice from an SLP who’s been there.
When my son started stuttering, I started with therapeutic strategies right away; you would have too, if you knew what I knew. My years of experience working with children who stutter made my decision to start therapy with my son a “no-brainer,” but for so many parents, the answer is not very clear at all.
Scenario 1: You wake up one day, and all of a sudden your child can’t get a word out to save his life, and you’re completely panicked.
Scenario 2: Your child started stuttering a little here and there a few months ago, and then a little more, and then a lot more, and now you’re completely panicked.
With either scenario, you were/are likely scared and had/have no idea what to do...and the inner dialogue of questions came flooding in. “Should I follow my pediatrician’s advice to wait and watch for 6-12 months? (pfff! As if you could just sit back and watch?!) Do I listen to friends and family who tell me that it’s “normal,” and that their kid outgrew it just fine? Are they right? Will my child outgrow stuttering on their own? What about the advice from that mom on the internet that suggested stuttering therapy may actually be harmful? Do I follow my gut, and find a way to help my child ASAP, or do I just wait it out? But for how long?”
Am I close?
As an SLP, and parent of a child who stutters, here are the 5 things that I wish every parent knew in that exact moment.
Know the risk factors. Science has found that certain factors, when present, decrease the likelihood that a toddler will outgrow stuttering without intervention. The good news is that most children, about 75%, do outgrow stuttering on their own, without any therapy at all. So how do we know for sure, which children end up in the 75% group, and which end up in the 25% group? We don’t, but what we do have are risk factors that help us answer that nagging “Should I wait, or Should I start” question. Before you make any decisions, take my free Toddler Stuttering Risk Factor Quiz to learn more about your child’s specific risk factor profile. Arming yourself with this important information will make you feel more confident in your decision to either, “wait and watch,” or take the next step towards seeking help for your child.
For some children, waiting is a bad idea. Which children? The ones with risk factors. Research tells us that the longer a child stutters, the more likely they will continue to stutter. This is because the stuttering pattern becomes more wired, or ingrained over time. Not to worry though, treatment can still be very effective, even if you’re getting a “late” start. Remember, their brains are “wired” for stuttering, not hard-wired; toddler brains are in constant development; wiring, and rewiring trillions of times a day. Neuroplasticity is the reason we think preschool stuttering treatment is so much more successful in resolving stuttering compared to other age groups.
Don’t be afraid to start treatment. There are several great, research-backed, stuttering treatment options for toddler stuttering. Stuttering treatment can be looked on a continuum with Indirect Treatment (hands-off) on one end, Direct Treatment (hands-on) on the other. Indirect treatment is often a great place to start for many families, because the stuttering itself is never directly addressed, instead, the environment is strategically optimized to support and increase fluent speech. I love this approach, (and hate that so many parents don’t know about it) which is the exact reason why I teach this approach in my workshops, and in my Keep Them Talking eCourses (coming soon!). My method of indirect therapy, allows parents to focus on building communication confidence in their child, while simultaneously executing a plan to reduce and eliminate stuttering. Win/win. It’s a great option, but it’s not the only option! That’s why it’s that hugely important to find an SLP with experience, and also one that can educate you about your options…ALL of your options.
You did not cause this. You did not cause this. You did not cause this. If that statement resonates with you, please stop blaming yourself. Stop replaying every moment of your child’s life, looking for the exact moment that “caused” this. My heart breaks every time I hear this concern from parents. What did we do wrong? Was it the time when…? Did I cause this? My answer is always a resounding “NO!” (usually followed by a big hug). Research has proven time and time again, parents of kids who stutter do nothing different than the parents of kids who do not end up stuttering...NOTHING, ZERO, NADA. Deep breath, big hug, let the guilt go.
You are not alone. I know it most definitely feels like it, but you are not alone. There are thousands of parents who are in the exact same boat..a boat called “Toddler Stuttering Scaries,” and there are millions of parents who’ve been there before. Simply connecting with other parents who share in your concerns, fears, mini-wins, and crushing blows is often more healing than any professional therapist could ever deliver. If you haven’t already, join a supportive online community or look into local support group options through the National Stuttering Foundation https://westutter.org/chapters/
Finally, hang in there! You’re doing a GREAT job, I just know it!
If you haven’t already (or if it’s been a few months), take the Free Toddler Stuttering Risk Factor Quiz now!
By Kelly Clendaniel MS, CCC-SLP, Owner of Word On The Speech, LLC